The craziest subject ever...and by that I mean not at all..

Am I in a BAD mood? I think not...maybe im bipolar? HA right...whatever...the last week has just been really stressfull...last night especially...Kendra had to go to the hospital because she had alcohol poisoning...I probably shouldnt post the BAC but it was HIGH...she very easily could have died...That really scares me...Iv been trying to figure out what about it scares me so much...perhaps that it was so easy and there was nothing I could do to help..except to go to the hospital...get no sleep and have her not even remember she saw me last night...some help I was huh?

I was sort of confronted today, by Nada and she kept on saying that she knew what it was like...knew what I was talking about and trying to explain how i am....I was pissed...I didnt snap but I could have...I mean what the FUCK...she was only trying to cheer me up but where does she get off on pretending that she knows who the HELL I AM ANYWAYS? She dosent know where Im from, how I grew up, my family life, my friends, the divorce...hell she probably couldnt telll you the kind of music I listen to...and thats a simple question...everything thats good..any gerne..I know that sounds like emo whining...im sorry..but i feel its not

I guess i was just frustrated..I really hate being judged...and I really hate people pretending they understand when they dont even know the story...Im glad I didnt snap at her, It wouldnt have been right...
and I would have felt bad later...

So, what else has changed...oh umm monday? Kat came over and we watched Invader Zim which I had never really seen befor..it was soooo damn funny...I really didnt want to go to rehersal..but I had to...I dont remember the rest of that night after rehersal... oh I think I hung out with the other Kendra...not the one that went to the hospital...and that was quite fun.
And Tuesday(my days are kind of bluring together a bit) I hung out with Kat at Jake's and that was alright...then rehersal(of course) and then I ran into Kat on my way back to livedalen...we spoke for a minuet...and in an attempt to prove me wrong...that I wasnt kidding myself and she would stop by..she dropped in later after I had done some reading...I spoke with her and just hung out for just about 15 minuets or so...it was great actually, she really lifted my spirits, made me smile...and then later the Kendra stuff brought them down...

But I guess I may as well admit it on here(she already knows) I do really like Kat...what else can I say?
She's a great girl...She's Fun, funny, pretty as all get out, understands/appreciates my sense of humor (which is important), playfull, and probably most importantly I have alot in common with her...She's just a sweetheart...

Right now...I dont know how i feel(but thats a seperate issue)..We'll see how I feel in the morning..I woudnt say at all that im in a bad mood or anything..just I dont know Ill either figure it out or I wont and it wont mater one way or another...actually im talking to kat right now...but if anything new or exciting beyond a cool new conversation(I'm almost certain the second part will happen at least) with her comes up...maybe ill talk about it here..I dont update too frequently so who knows...

anyways I just ran in the Fuckin snow!
Thats right kids! SNOW tongith! In Moorhead...I went to the bell tower and watched the snow fly around it...it was gorgeous...anyways I have a new Idea for a poem or song or some word type thing...we'll see how it goes...if i like it maybe Ill post it or something...I wish I could draw...then I would have been out there drawing what I saw tonight...it was really sweet..

goodnight world...thats all I can remember and such right now....

Hope everyone is sleeping well

~erik D

"Life is what happens when you're busy making other plans" -John Lennon